Have you ever had one of those days when it seemed like everyone and everything was an irritant?
Lately this has been my mood. And everyday unbeknownst to those arround me I say a prayer, “Dear Lord, continue to do a work in me, strengthen me in areas I am weak, allow me to learn lessons the first go-round. And Lord, if this situation that I am in is to humble me, let it happen or at least give me the wisdom in this transition…oh, yeah, help me to hold my tongue and please limit the sharp expressions that come across my face.Thank you. I love you!”
I say that prayer a few times a day…in between sighs and a few shifts of the eyes, oh, and a few nail taps to signify “I am so not feeling this!”
It seems of all the lessons I have encountered in 20-something years the one that seems to greet me at each level is the lesson of humility. No matter where I go or where I think I have arrived in life there’s the lesson knocking me right back in place. It’s like bad breath, sometimes it just sneaks up on you.
The latest lesson of humility came to remind me that I am not exempt from learning or stetching beyond my expectations…what a shock to my ego and comfort zone…So many times we want to be masters of certain areas…well right as I began to reign I was knocked back down to a student. (talk about humbling yourself) I went from no real worries or cares because I had the answers to dumb-dumb ditty land without a clue or friend.
I felt like Martin when he said, “Damn Gina!” or Florida Evans when James died and she said, “Damn! Damn! Damn!” Yes, I was clueless and a bit fearful. To start again from the bottom and take on new challenges was a lot to ask, especially when I was beginning to reign. I was feeling myself and that’s where the problem lied.
In this 20-something body there is a LOT of pride…day by day I am starting to recognize and correct that. I don’t always ask for help. I don’t always appear teachable, despite verbally admitting, “I don’t understand” but my body language, as I’m learning, screams, “Don’t bother me. I’m doing the best that I can. I got this.”
I am learning to humble myself and it isn’t easy. I don’t know everything and that’s fine. I don’t always ask for help and I have to change. I was once told that one of the signs of maturity is knowing when to ask for help. I have to work on my facial expressions and try to be more warm and inviting to change instead of shutting down.
Humility, we meet again and this time I am listening, ready to learn and apply the lesson at this level in my life,
